You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
