Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
