You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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