cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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