you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
