i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
