I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
