Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
