Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
