When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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