and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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