did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I stole a fireplace last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
