You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
