so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
