There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
