I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
