She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
