Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
