apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
