Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
