the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
