Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is classic penis vs brain.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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