May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
