you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
