My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
should my penis look like a turkey
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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