I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize