I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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