"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
