I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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