I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
