i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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