You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
