Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
