That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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