I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
