Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
