six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
