1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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