her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
