I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
