A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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