Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
