I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize