Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
