I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
