is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
