good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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