I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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