Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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