So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
