And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
