its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize