So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
birth control should be required to get into college
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
