Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
