I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
