I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
