i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
