there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
3pm strippers are depressing
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
