if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
