So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I love having hate sex.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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