i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
