theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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