i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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