someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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