just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
