I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
