I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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