Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
