you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
