You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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