Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
