I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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