i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
