I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
