I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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