Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
