So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
