drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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