I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
